My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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