the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
