No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
