I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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