it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
