hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
