READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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