I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
