HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
