I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need a burrito and a hug.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
