I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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