It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
