making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
