when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
