the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
