im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
