the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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