wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
