OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
