Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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