everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
