How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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