i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize