this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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