It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
