"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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