At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
