I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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