dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
