plz talk dirty to me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
