this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
