What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
