Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
