I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We need to get me chipped asap
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
