were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
