Non-Jews are for practice
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
