so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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