hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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