I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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