And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
