She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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