If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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