i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
