I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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