your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
