the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
