i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
