batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
