So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My dick has a subreddit
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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