I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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